Finding the problem

Have the following email conversation with a friend today...

A: Over the past few days I didn’t have good sleep…胡思亂想...don’t think I’ve made great progress here and feel quite frustrated…

B: i totally understand, fate is controlling everything .. human can do minor adjustment but for the frame and ultimate outcome, we are all programmed. just enjoy everyday ... if everyday you can finish your work then you can sleep well and for your future, you are the only one who understand yourself, people around you cannot help you much, all they can do is support your decision.

dont worry, thinking is okay but worry will harm your body, so relax and enjoy everyday

A: Thanks for listening and sharing. Work at least it’s something doable, but for some other things in my life, the decision is not that easy to made if involving people I care about. Maybe I shall give up soon so won’t be stuck in the small cubic, but don’t know whether that really solves the problem or I just pretend the problem doesn’t exit anymore?

B: take it easy, human is just too tiny. be yourself and people with similar characteristics will appear.

Last Friday was the worse night, don't know it's because of the alcohol or because of the mind, was lying on bed for hours and can't fall asleep. I started questioning myself whether it's a right decision to remain in Hong Kong, or shall I return to NZ, or go back to Taiwan? Shall I stay in the same company, or change to another industry, or start my own business? Shall I fall for the same person, or move on if he doesn't fall for me in the same way? A lot of questions, all emerged at that point of time.

It might be the reason that I don't have the sense of belonging to places I have been so far, or I just got too many choices that I am confused to make the decision, or I am still trying to figuring out what ultimately I want out from my life. Situation is, I can't escape anymore but need to fix those problems. NOW.

But friend does point out one important thing - be myself. Yes be myself. Every time when I start liking someone, I prone to be the person whom I think the other person might like, but forget about my own needs. Although the sacrifice tendency had been greatly reduced due to the bad experience happened in the past, it still important to be a real happy me, not a pretended-happy me.